I can’t Draw Something, can you?

Unless you live under a rock somewhere out in the wild extremes of Big Sky country where things like electricity and the internet are concepts every bit as whacky and futuristic as teleportation devices and aliens with ray guns, odds are good you’ve heard of Draw Something.  It’s the latest fad to hit the social media scene: a social-driven drawing game that’s like Pictionary, for your phone or tablet.

At least, that’s what I hear.  I’m not playing it myself, actually.

Now, I’d like to tell you that I’m refusing to play on philosophical grounds because Draw Something knocked Words with Friends down as king of the social media collaborative time-wasting hill.  But that’s not really the case.  I’m mean sure, I do prefer games based on words, since I’m, you know, a writer and all.  The honest truth, though, is not that I’m mad we’ve gone to pictures over words, it’s that when it comes to artistic abilities I’m about as capable as a meth-addicted Tyrannosaurus Rex with an attention deficit disorder.

Yes, my drawings largely look they were drawn by someone with tiny, disproportionate arms flailing about like a spaz, barely able to contain a drawing implement. 

In other words, when I try to sketch a smiley face I’m more likely to end up with something that looks like a Rorschach slide.  Ultimately, that ends with me screaming the equivalent of “PUDDIN SMASH!!!” and then going off like a rock star in a hotel suite after a 36-hours bender.

Still not sure what I mean?  In case you’re missing the point, I’ve developed a couple of handy visuals aids to demonstrate the difference between me playing words games and drawing games.

First, this is me playing a word-based game:

Fun, right?  Sure, but what happens, then, when you take all those frolicking letters away and replace them with a drawing tool?  Well, keeping in mind that my kindergarten teacher had reservations about sending me to first grade because I couldn’t even color inside the lines, usually you get a scene that looks straight out of a early Steven King novel:

Of course, all this kvetching is actually intended to cover up the real reason I don’t play Draw Something.  My phone is too pathetic to play the game, and I’m too cheap to get a better one.

So, for now, I guess I’m going to have to stick with statuses like, “Puddin played L-A-M-E-S-T on a Double Word tile for 20 points”.

Pud’n