Archive for category Poetry
A haiku contest for National Haiku Day
Image via Wikimedia Commons
Little did I know when I woke up this morning that today is National Haiku Day! I’ll be honest, I had planned to give you poor people a break, which I thought would be well-deserved after foisting yesterday’s ridiculously long post on you.
(Not to mention that I’m still mostly too giddy about the whole signing-with-Foreword Lit thing to write a post that would make any kind of rational sense. But that’s neither here nor there.)
Anyway, clearly, I couldn’t possibly allow National Haiku Day to slip past without, you know, a haiku. So, here you go:
No post planned today
But! National Haiku Day!
Like this haiku, please?
Hey, I didn’t say it’d be good, did I?
Fine, hotshot, think you can do better? Let’s hear it. Yeah, that’s right, time to bring out your haiku best. Let’s see what you’ve got. Tweet it, post it on facebook, or leave it in the comments. We want to read your National Haiku Day haiku.
And just for fun—because let’s face it, I’ve got nothing to give away as a prize but old, wired PC keyboards missing letters—on the off chance I get more than three entries, I’ll pick my favorites and post them tomorrow.
Sure, it’s not exactly the lottery, but your odds of winning are a helluva lot better, I’m guessing. So get ‘em in!
Pud’n
A haiku for a terrible day
Our thoughts for Boston
Unspeakable tragedy
Stay safe, with loved ones
No rambling today. I’m following Scalzi’s lead and going with pet pictures instead.
Pud’n
The ultimate internet filler: a haiku and a doggy picture
I’ve had too much on my mind all day today to produce a post that isn’t total, incessant, rambling drivel, although how that would differ from a typical post isn’t, um, completely clear. You know what? Quit asking so many questions. What is this, the Spanish Inquision? I don’t have to answer to you. I want my phone call.
Anyway, I spent all day at work trying to track down a memory leak (no, I’m not going senile; it’s something you get in software programs) large enough to float that nightmare Carnival cruise ship through. On top of that, I’m mulling a decision that’s been nipping at the back of my mind like a bored puppy for the better part of six months now.
In other words, I’ve used up all my brain today. If I tried to write a real post, it’d look something like:
Yarn, biscuit finger! PLllthalth. Been tango inta WOOP! Poop tangles seen a toad dolphin speak howzit? Ughhhhhh. *sigh* Pbbthlhtlhbbppbpbphtht. Eyewear, you know?
Thus, I give you instead the ultimate in filler blog posting: a haiku about filler blog posts (with a Bonus! Cute! Animal! Pic!)
A post should go here
But today was thinks, not words
Instead, here’s my dog.
Hope you had a great day! Tomorrow the words will make sense.
Well, or at least more sense.
Pud’n
From the archives (again): Green, Tasteless Beer (a poem for St. Patrick’s Day)
Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
[Author's note: I originally wrote this poem in 2011. Since then, it has become (with the exception of the post that was Freshly Pressed) the most often-viewed post ever for Puddintopia. I wrote it in about 5 minutes as a lark because I didn't know what else to ramble about that day, having no idea it would take on a life of it's own. At any rate, it seemed appropriate to repost it today. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.]
I do not like green, tasteless beer
Just do not pour that, Sam, my dear
I do not want it in my house
I will not drink it with a mouse
I will not have some in the rain
I only like it down the drain
I will repeat it, if I must
For me, it’s good, craft beer or bust.
I DO NOT LIKE green, tasteless beer
Let’s have an Irish stout right here!
A eulogy in haiku for Google Reader
All my feeds laid out
Google Reader kept them well
And now, it’s end. Woe.
A haiku for a stubborn, unwanted season
Oh, my dear winter
I’m sick of dry, painful hands
Please hit the damned road
A limerick for a cold, still-winter night
Our Puddin, he oft did perspire,
little warmth did he usually require.
So when his wife whined of COLD
“Oh, you’re daft,” she was told.
After a glare, guess who started a fire?
A Puddintopia Valentine’s Day Haiku
Image via Wikimedia Commons
Roses are, um, red
Violets are…oh, screw it
Point is, I <3 you
I hope everyone manages to have a great Valentine’s Day, whether you buy into the commercially driven love-fest or not. Whatever you do—and whatever your, um, situation—why not use today as an excuse to live life like a rockstar. Just, you know, maybe without all the overdosing and the hotel room destruction.
Oh, and hey, if you’re looking for something a little meatier—aka wordier—for your Valentine’s Day enjoyment, why not check out last year’s totally-almost award-winning post: A Puddintopia Valentine. In that one, you’ll find something closer to my typically excessive word count, artfully crafted into paragraphs like this one:
Valentine’s Day isn’t everyone’s favorite. In fact, for years I was a card-carrying member of the Valentine’s-Is-A-Stupid-Corporate-Trick-To-Sucker-You-Outta-Cash Club. Back in my lonely bachelor days, I figured it was all an insidious plot to make me feel like a huge loser because all my friends were off having fancy dinners while I was treating myself to a Larosa’s “It’s Great After 8” special, a couple of VHS movie rentals (ask your parents if you don’t know what VHS means, and if you’re brave, ask aboutBetamax too) and a six-pack of beer.
I know it sounds pretty awesome, but it really wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.
So maybe check that out. Either way, have yourself a happy little Valentine’s Day. And remember, there’s nothing wrong with buying wine and chocolate for yourself, and that Hulu and Netflix will always love you for you are, holey, stained, sweatpants and all.
Pud’n
The Pope just resigned? This calls for a limerick!
I imagine he said, “Popin’ ain’t easy. Peace, I’m out,” and then dropped the mic and rolled (Image via Wikimedia Commons).
There once was a pontiff in Rome
Who labored beneath St. Peter’s dome
But he grew old and gaunt
and said, “Screw it; I do what I want!”
Then retired to his sweet summer home.
Today, a haiku, because tomorrow is Groundhog Day*
Groundhog day; Spring nears
Winter growls again, bears teeth
Oh no, not done yet
Have a great weekend, no matter what the Groundhog and Mother Nature give you!
Pud’n
*Well, also because last night Mother Nature saw fit to drop as much as an inch (AN INCH!) of snow on us here in Cincinnati after raining all day. Needless to say, cars were spinning around like Tom the Cat on a frozen kitchen floor, expressways were closed, dogs and cats were living together…Mass Hysteria!
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