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After The Socks Of Summer Have Gone

According to Google, those of us in the Northern Hemisphere will experience the Autumnal Equinox Saturday night at 9:54 PM, at which point summer will technically be over and fall will be begin. Of course, despite that, I fully expect Mother Nature to continue giving me sweaty 80+ degree days for a few weeks yet, because she’s hateful that way.

Continuing the perspiration or not, I’m out of days for summer themed socks. It’s time to break out the…well, whatever I have that’s autumn-y. Probably some gourds, I hope? Maybe a set of pumpkin-spice latte socks?

Whatever. The one thing I was certain of this morning was that I had to get this grill-themed pair into play before Saturday. So here they are, in all their burger and chargrilling glory, the last of the socks specifically for summer.

And then there was but one season remaining. One full season and eight or so days is all that remains of Sock Challenge 2018.

It’s almost too much to believe.

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A Jimmy Buffet-Approved Bonanza

Ahoy, land lubbers…yesterday do be National Cheeseburger Day, but wit da socks and da smugglin’ me children to and fro, it do be more struggle to keep up wit the day o’ the calendar than, well, the current location o’ Davey Jones’ Locker. Lady of the Kraken be thanked, tho, at least it be okay to wear a matchin’ pair of stockings a day past, so a decent sea-faring fella can feel a few fathoms above water even if he/she didn’t quite get to the cheeseburger just right on burger day.

That be the price ya pay for trying to smuggle your way through the week.

Avast, though, cheeseburger day or no, today do be Talk Like A Pirate Day, which, arrrrrr, methinks perhaps be a tide o’ some nonsense, but a fair enough knot to make a sailor of the fool either way.

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The Referee Isn’t Always This Blind, But He Rocks Lame Socks Regardless

Eldest son earned his first varsity Yellow Card tonight, for “Dissent”, of all things. In other words, he might have suggested out loud, on the field, that the referee was out of his freaking mind.

Eldest Son was not wrong. The referee called a horribly one-sided game. But, alas, such is life sometimes. And the best you can do when facing an unfair judge is put your head down and do your best. Eldest Son’s team played a tremendous game tonight, and only lost 0-1 because said ref was determined to see that that they did, and a ridiculous call off the ball giving the other team a free kick in the 66th minute did just that.

I found it pretty amusing then that I was wearing stripes tonight. Thankfully they weren’t quite referee stripes, or I might have been encouraged to jaw back at the actual ref enough to get myself thrown out of the game. As it was, the Puddinette had to tell me calm down more than once.

So I think I might have to keep these stripes, at the end of the year, to remind me that sometimes in life, the best you can do is run your jaw a little, and call out the bullshit when you see it.

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Pattern Matching

Today’s socks come to use owing to the fact that I was wearing a blue plaid shirt, these mostly matched the colors, and (let’s be honest, most importantly) they loosely resemble Tetris.

And, that, friends, is all I got on a very busy Monday.

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One More Blast At The Grill

Not knowing how many more days 80+ degree days 2018 is going to give us, I broke out the tubed meats this afternoon and fired up the grill. To go with the today’s end-of-summer weekend grilling, I was glad to see I still had a pair of hot dog anklets in the drawer this morning. And while I’m definitely looking forward to cooler weather and hopefully some leaves on my feet, it was nice to squeeze in one more afternoon if cooking outside.

But I’m done now, Mother Nature. Bring on the 70s please?

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Channelling Anna Kendrick (Apparently)

The Puddinette and I went on a date night tonight, although why she stills bothers hanging out with this obnoxious nerd when she when could be living her best life at home with comfy pants and a night full of IDHD crime shows boggles the mind. Nevertheless, we went out anyway, and caught the newly released A Simple Favor with Anna Kendrick and Blake Lively at the Super Mega Ultraplex.

The movie was great, as was Date Night, and we managed to make it home without anyone killing each other (that includes both the wife and I, as well as the kids left at home). It was a everything I could have hoped for, plus popcorn and Twizzlers.

Coincidentally, the best line of the whole movie (for me) came from a moment early on when Lively’s character, Emily, compliments Kendrick’s Stephanie on a cute pair of socks, and then Stephanie gushes about finding them at Target for, like, $10 a pack. She goes on to say they have all kinds of cute patterns, and was at that moment I found myself wanting to say, “Same girl, same.” I don’t recall if the pair if modern camo socks I wore today came from Target or not, but many of this year’s haul certainly has, and I couldn’t help think of them at that moment.

Go see A Simple Favor for the fun characters and the twisty, unpredictable plot. Stay for the way a single line about socks had this middle-aged dad of 4 identifying with the adorably quirky Anna Kendrick.

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Slalom? More Like Slammin’, Into The Side Of A Tree

At last we reach the zenith of Sports Week, I’m gald to be able to share with you socks from the sport I am least likely to participate in. Sure, skiing looked cool in all ths great and awful B-grade 80s comedy movies, but the fact is that there is no instructor on the Earth capable of overcoming my general lack of physical grace along with my inherent fear of making my knees go the in two separate directions at once.

I tore an ACL in high school, thanks, that’s enough for one lifetime.

That said, don’t let my bad attitude ruin your fun. If you enjoy flying down a mountain at breakneck speed on narrow stripes of tree bark, get out there and get after it. That slope isn’t gonna conquer itself you know.

Whatever you do this weekend, kids, have a great time, just try not to set the place on fire.

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These Stars Are Kidding No One, Especially Not The Dog

Here I am trying to pretend throwing stars are actually somehow “a sport” for me, while, meanwhe, Smoky looks on with the fabric shell of a stuffed animal that used to be his friend. Thankfully, removing the stuffing from his friends truly IS something of a sport for Smoky, so I’m totally counting this as qualified won for the Week.

And if you don’t like that answer, I’ll meet you at the dojo.

Or, well, Smoky might, with the remains of a friend. And if you’re not buying the “throwing stars as a sport” concept just wait until you see what I pretend I can do tomorrow.

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You Gotta Represent, Especially If You Can’t Ball

Continuing the theme of the week, I couldn’t possibly live with myself if I hadn’t had a pair of basketball socks. Now, the Puddinette will not favor this picture, because she prefers when they look more “natural”, meaning “at comfortable rest” rather than “looking like I just shoved my feet out in front of me and grabbed my phone”. She’ll say this looks awkward.

But that’s okay, because basketball and I have always been awkward, at best.

Admittedly, basketball could legit be considered my least favorite sport, which is likely a felony in many parts of the US, Kentucky included. But I’m a XL-sized fellow with the vertical leap of a three-toed tree sloth after an Ambien and a warm milk. As I’m also not remarkable in the overall height category, there’s really no place for me in the game.

It probably doesn’t help that I can’t shoot and jump and the same time and my ball “skills” were once ranked on-par with a kindergartner’s. But I got game when it comes to socks, so you best believe I was going to include a basketball pair, despite the fact that Puddin Man Can’t Jump.

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A Haiku for The Obligatory Soccer Balls

Sports Week means sport socks
Eldest played soccer tonight
Thus, I had no choice