It is past my bedtime, and I am post-hockey tired. Anyone having played hockey at 37 years of age can tell you that this is beyond your standard ready-for-bed kinda tired. In other words, you probably won’t be getting anything good out of me tonight.
It was a busy day, though, that’s for sure. I woke up this morning to the kids begging my wife for breakfast doughnuts. Ever the political one, she suggested that they Ask Daddy. I was pretending to be asleep at the time, of course, and complimented her later for throwing me under to bus. Her treachery was no doubt borne of a weakness for jelly-filled delights.
Being a fool and sucker, I went out and got some doughnuts, which included a hand-chosen variety of all the things we like around here. Upon my return, the Puddinette asked me to look something up on line while she saw to the kids having breakfast. Since I’m a nice guy in addition to being a fool and a sucker, I stepped into the office and fired up a web-browser. Ten minutes later I emerged with the desired printout, only to find a box of doughnuts that contained nothing but a few jellys (which are so very not my kinda treat) and a rolling tumbleweed. The kids had eaten all the kinds of doughnuts I like. Blueberry cakes? Gone. Glazed chocolate cakes? What glazed chocolate cakes? Hell, I would have settled for a iced, sprinkled yeasty thing. No such luck, though; my ravenous heathen children had gone all biblical locust swarm on that poor box from Dunkin’ Donuts.
Incidentally, I wake up in colds sweats on occasion, following night terrors about how I’m going to feed this family when they become teenagers. Part-time butchers get free food occasionally, right? J
After the rest of the family had finished with breakfast, the wife left with The Attitude on an errand, leaving me with three children stuck in the house because of rain. Considering that they were cooped up all day with me and just each other, they did an excellent job this afternoon. Still, by the time dinner rolled around tonight, the two older boys were prepped to go all out on a cage match of epic proportions. Luckily, we were successfully able to distract them and prevent the re-creation of any Rocky movies in the house. For now.
After dinner, there was the usual rigmarole; the kids “played” together, which mostly means they went out of their way to see who could make the others laugh hardest through frequent use of words like “toilet”. It’s cute how they get older and drive you crazy with nonsense. Anyway, then there was the Bathing of the Children and the attending to my many Sunday evening chores. It’s garbage night, Sunday, and also the last chance to get weekend accomplishments on the books before one’s wife declares the Entire Weekend Wasted.
I somehow managed to salvage some weekend, and then departed for my Sunday night hockey game.
I scored tonight a goal, on purpose. It was a pretty cool feeling, but we lost anyway, which was not such a cool feeling. Oh well, they’ll be another chance to win next week, and another weekend in which to accomplish stuff.
It’s even later now, I’m still tired, and now I’m told there’s a spider on my pillow. I guess he and I will have to come to some kind of agreement. I’m partial to the kind where the spider ends up squashed, but we’ll see how it goes.