When do I get my Teen Beat subscription?

I was so looking forward to watching my standard Friday night DVR’d shows this week, right up until I was smacked across the cheek by the scalding hot poker of disappointment. There are but a handful of shows I watch any longer with regularity, and Stargate Universe is one of them. Yes, I realize that it’s science fiction and that kind of thing is frowned upon by the cool kids unless it’s a big summer movie. As I’ve said before, though, I’m a nerd; so it’s totally ok.

At any rate, when I checked my Friday DVR list, and didn’t see my SGU available, I instantly realized exactly how my six year-old feels when I say “No” to having Sprite with dinner. Stupid SyFy, which I personally believe is the most poorly run television network ever, doesn’t like to run its “A” material on the Friday nights before holidays. I guess that’s because they figure their market is out getting loaded and having social lives. It shows how little they understand their target market. Did I mention the nerd thing? Yeah, we aren’t big on the social lives.

So, anyway, I decided to watch a DVD, instead, as the red envelope was beckoning from its place atop the DVD cabinet. The movie was, um, one of those violence-packed action things where something blows up every 16 minutes and all the actors are guys with questionable English skills, steroid-enhanced physiques, and a tendency to shoot…and then shoot again later. It was totally an uber-macho tough-guy movie. Definitely. No question.

Okay, look, fine…you got me. It was New Moon; yes, I watched the angsty vampire romance sequel. I’m not afraid of your judgment. It was for research or something…yeah, that’s it. Now stop looking at me like that!

So, since I’ve been teaching my kids that lying is frowned upon, I’m going to be completely honest. I found the damned movie mostly entertaining, all things considered. I’d prefer if there had been a complete plot with a love story rather than just a romance with some conflict tacked on, but you can’t have everything these days. That said, I believe that Robert Pattinson is quite possibly the worst actor since Keanu Reeves. However, I totally buy the lovesick angstiness provided by Kristen Stewart. I’m not sure how much range she’s got outside of being all mopey and heartbroken, and there are times that look like she can’t find the character with a map, but when it comes to the parts where she’s suppose to be all incapable of living without…um, I dunno…one of those teenage monster boys…well, I can see it.

Oh, and it seems to me that the pale girl has way more palpable onscreen sexual tension with the wolf boy then the skinny vampire. What I’m saying is that if it was the real word and the three of them were tossing back Cuervo and Budwieser in some dive bar, I think we can all agree that the morning-after Walk of Shame would originate from the doghouse and not the crypt. But we’re talking about werewolves and vampires in love with a high school chick here, so I guess the real world need not apply.

Long story short, apparently I’m not just a nerd, but have become a teenage girl nerd. Damn you Syfy, I totally blame you for this!


One thought on “When do I get my Teen Beat subscription?

  1. Sorry to have given you the scify creature gene. Have loved vampires, werewolves, frankenpeople, and most monsters/aliens but for some unexplicable reason have been unable to do Twilight stuff. Your experience hasn’t encouraged me much. Who knows maybe I’ll get desperate enough down the road.


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