You mean it’s NOT Dancing With the Stars?

We got lucky last night and were invited to the neighbor’s pool for a little while. I only spent about an hour across the street watching the kids fling themselves off the diving board and chase after weighted water rockets, but the visit did its job. Once we got them home and into bed, there was nary a peep from anyone after the books were read and the lights went out.

Score one for the parental types.

We might have spent a little more time at the neighbor’s, but the Puddinette and Mini-Puddinette were at the daughter’s first dance class of the summer when the invite for aquatic fun filtered in across the street. The Attitude was already in bed by then, and I couldn’t really tell the older boys to suit up just yet. When the ladies returned, though, the three older kids and I played nicely with the neighbors while the Puddinette basked in the glow of a silent house with a sleeping toddler.

As an added bonus, I found out that I can talk petunias and vacation Bible school programs with other moms. Granted, I probably suggested that the kids were getting watered daily at VBS and the petunias learned about the 12 tribes of Israel this week, but hey, I’m a gamer.

Did I mention, by the way, that the Mini-Puddinette started dance yesterday? And in a short couple of weeks, the older two boys will start learning to ice skate in preparation for an educational hockey program. The Summer Activity Train steams on, preventing idle hands and bad attitudes.

I have a question though. Unfortunately, many of these summertime activities have cash requirements. That, in and of itself, doesn’t bother me, but one thing makes absolutely NO sense to me, whatsoever. For reasons beyond human understanding, the dance class costs 30% more per child than the ice skating.

Let’s look at this for a moment. Dancing requires one (or more) instructors, and perhaps some mats. Ice skating requires at one instructor and a bunch of assistants to prop the kids back up when the fall. Also, skating requires ice. Mats can be purchased once and reused ad infinitum, or at least until they wear out. Honestly, though, it isn’t like they’re being trample with heels daily; these girls learning to dance are wearing ballet slippers. Ice, on the other hand, typically melts in July¸ unless it is specifically maintained as a solid. Ever tried to keep water frozen when it’s 90 degrees? Not too many instances of our ole pal Frosty the Snowman waving from the neighbor’s front lawn this time year.

To keep ice from becoming water in July, equipment is required; compressors, Freon (or today’s suitable greener replacement), and electricity are all running constantly to keep that sheet of ice from become one big puddle.

Yet, for some reason, I’m paying more for the mats.

Oh, and another thing: equipment. Dancing apparently requires some form of ‘tard, be that unitard, leotard, multitard, or something of that type, plus leggings or stockings or whatever they’re called, and dance shoes (ballet slippers). Ice skating requires ice skates. Am I forced to go out and buy brand new $200 ice skates? No sir, the rink includes skates in the price of the lessons.

Although I will admit that based on the wrinkling of The Puddinette’s nose when I mentioned the provided skates, I believe we’ll be investing in several gallons of spray disinfectant. Beyond that, though, equipment costs for ice skating/hockey: 0$; equipment cost for dancing: significantly more than that.

The bottom line here is that unless my daughter is being instructed in the fine art of dance by the talented and incomparable Fred and Ginger, I’m really expecting to see this guy (whoever that is) or preferably this chick doing post-class interviews, or maybe this lady scoring the Mini-Puddinette’s plies and releves.

So what’s the moral of today’s rambling rant? One way or the other, gentlemen, females are going to be costly all your life. Daughter, wife, girlfriend, it just doesn’t matter; XX chromosomes equals shelling out the cash.


2 thoughts on “You mean it’s NOT Dancing With the Stars?

  1. Simple law of the price being what the market can bear. Costs are not relevant.

    Later, girls can’t raise as much money as boys for high school athletics with the exception of cheerleaders. I’m sure there is a moral there – Lol


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