1.21 Gigawatts!

Welcome, my friends, to the show that never ends…well, except when my internet stops working. I guess that causes a temporary blip in the offering of words unto the ether. Thankfully, blessedly, happily, our signal has been restored, and data and phone calls flow freely once again into and out of our home like crude oil through a BP pipe.

And there was much rejoicing (I really mean that this time; you can tell by the way I used italics).

I’ll have to take some time and get everyone all caught up on what kind of stuff happened while Puddintopia languished, without visitors, alone in my home network, unable to get a page out to the world beyond. Not tonight, though. I just spent two action-packed days working excessively in San Antonio, TX. I am tired and need to catch up on some rest. So, we’ll recap tomorrow.

I do, however, feel, compelled to cover a couple of things quickly (whenever I say ‘quickly’, things end poorly for me, but I shall press on, nonetheless).

First, yes, it would be awfully nice to have some kind of Puddintopia backup site away from my webserver on the floor, where visitors might be sent in case something like the recent service disruption happens again. Unfortunately, that kind of thing costs actual money, and cannot be acquired using Silly Bandz in trade. Since I’m currently not even getting 100 visitors a day, on average, it seems like paying real dollars for that might be silly. You know could help, though?

  1. More visitors – this would mean I could perhaps a smallish amount of unobtrusive advertising for stuff my readers might enjoy, like Nerf guns, beer, and Barry Manilow CDs. A smallish ad could offset the cost of stuff like an offsite back up. So, Puddin, what I do to help, you ask? If you were so inclined, you might consider pimping Puddintopia to your friends, relatives, coworkers (the ones you like), and cellmates (yes, that includes you, Lindsey). Not your boss, though; not unless he/she is “cool” and “down with it”. Just sayin’.
  2. Do you know someone in the internet trade? I’m always happy to meet new people, especially if they can help me prevent online disasters.

My mother finally friended (yes, it’s a verb) Puddintopia on Facebook. See, she does love me!

Anyway, who’s interested in knowing about what ’caused the Great Puddintopia Internet Blackout of 2010? You are? Great! So, Saturday evening, while the Puddinette and I were playing host to my parents for a nice dinner, there was apparently some stormage out. Electrical stormage. Around 9:30 that night, my beloved wife noticed that our phones were suddenly full of static. Enough static, in fact, that it made anyone attempting to call sound like a combination of a Heavy-Breathing Pervert and Big Bird. It was bad.

The static also meant that our normal exchange of internet data was obstructed. Pretend that all of our normal online messages are shoved into a boat and sent downstream. Those messages typically make it out to sea. With the addition of the Great Static of Doom, however, it’s like someone filled our online river full of mud. All our messages either ended up running aground or covered in so much muck that they were unrecognizable out in the world. Like Jennifer Grey after the surgery.

So, what happened to cause this horrifying static? Apparently, lightning. It seems our phone box outside got smacked with a heavy dose of electricity Saturday nice, probably something the neighborhood of 1.21 Gigawatts. With that in mind, it’s hard to believe that we had any kind of service at all the past few days – Big Bird Breather or not. Does that mean my little ode to ramblings here is not favored by the Man Upstairs? I choose to think that’s not the case. The way I see it, He’s a fan just like you are, but he doesn’t have a Facebook “Like” button to click.

Maybe I should plug “The Lord” into Friend Finder and see what happens.


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