Civil Disobedience by Diversion

I woke up this morning tired already. Probably, it was the result of not going to bed earlier enough last night. For that matter, it likely didn’t help that I managed not to turn-in at any point this week before 2 AM, mostly because I have a new Wheel of Time
book, and it isn’t going to read itself. I imagine I could have done without those two bottles of Leinenkugel’s Octoberfest last night too, but as I’ve said, I have to get my fill of the autumn beers while I can still find them.

Honestly, though, I’d bet that waking up with morning fatigue today wasn’t caused by any one thing. Sometimes, after a hectic few weeks, life – even the good stuff – takes its toll. As my past few weeks have been filled with birthday parties, grand Polish adventures, candy-laden dress-up holidays, and a full metric crap-load of self-applied pressure to complete a month’s worth of tasks in a handful of days (both at work and on personal projects), well, it catches up with you. Eventually you find yourself unsuccessfully struggling to escape a pillow on a Saturday morning, barely able to translate the mental image of a dark, bitter, caffeine-laden, life-affirming beverage into a sad plea for “coffee” Indeed, sooner or later you have to pay the piper.

The Puddinpop had to be somewhere early this morning, though, and it was my responsibility to take him. There’s no smacking the snooze button when it comes to your kid’s life. So I dragged my pathetic middle-aged-feeling self out of bed and began the weary trudge along the course of my day.

We returned from his activity in time to gather the rest of the family and visit a local Big Boy establishment. Over the course of trick-or-treating, we managed to amass enough coupons for free kid’s meals that we could safely eat one meal per day at Frisch’s from now until the end of the Mayan calendar and still not pay for a grilled cheese with fries. Sadly, the coupons are only good until the middle of next month; I figure that odds that I eat nothing but Big Boy’s between now and December 15th at 2-1. At any rate, we stopped in to take advantage of our bounty, and it turned out to be an easy lunch.

Of course, when I say ‘easy’, I mean that the Attitude didn’t throw all of his food onto the floor for once and only conjured massive crocodile tears briefly because we wouldn’t let him dissect the pepper shaker with a butter knife.

After lunch, we stopped by the pediatrician’s office for the kids’ predestined appointment with the dreaded flu vaccine. Luckily, though, they were offered the nasal mist deployment option, which almost certainly prevented hours upon hours of faux-weepy complaints by Princess Puddinette that her arm Is. Literally. Going. To. Fall. Off.

Finally, shortly after 1 in the afternoon, we returned home. As I looked longingly at my recliner and began analyzing my college football schedule for the day, the Puddinette unveiled the Obligatory List of Household Chores she’d concocted for me, to be addressed today. Light bulb changes! Bathroom caulking! New rubber feet for kitchen chairs! Oh my!

I considered curling into a fetal ball in the corner. Clearly I was not up to the task today. Creativity was immediately required. Luckily, sometimes, shopping solves everything.

We need more light bulbs, I said, suggesting she take some time to pick them up.

I need some new clothes, she added, considering.

I knew I kept a line item for clothing in our budget for a good reason.

If you need clothes, you should get them, I replied.

I bet my mom would like to do some shopping, she said.

Diversion Achieved! Touchdown! The capacity crowd of fans in my head erupted in a chorus of cheers.

Ten minutes later, the Puddinette was out the front door on a hunt for bargains and I was happily ignoring my Saturday list. I then sank comfortably into my chair and began looking for a football game more entertaining than Florida at Vandy. My Saturday of leisure was preserved.

Admittedly, the list remains, waiting for someone to Mark Things Off. Tomorrow, probably, I’ll redeem myself. But today? Well, sometimes the batteries need a good re-charging.

The caulking will be there tomorrow. And by then odds are I’ll do a decent job of it.

I did change some light bulbs, though, when the wife got home. A little PR never hurt anyone.


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