Goodbye, so long, and farewell to haiku

So…I um…I did a bad thing. I haven’t posted anything new since Thursday night. That means I went Friday and Saturday without adding anything new to Puddintopia, whatsoever. Two days, no content; not even so much as a grocery list. That’s a clear violation of self-imposed rules.

Yes, I do, in fact, feel suitably guilty. But… (and you knew one was coming, right?)

I’m at a bit of a loss at the moment when it comes to short material. If you’ve been following my regular ramblings here for any length of time, you’re probably aware that I’m in the habit of posting a clever little haiku when lacking either the time, energy, or required mental capacity for a full post. And really, I don’t feel bad about the Lame Excuse Haiku because, well, I can’t be dazzling every day, right?

OK, sure; maybe the substitutes haven’t all been as clever and witty as I would like to think. I’ll admit that as yet, no one has come knocking on our door to tell me how my short poems changed their life; that I helped someone turn from a life of crime after seeing how the inherent beauty of my 17-syllable masterpieces illuminated the world’s true wonder. I’m willing to allow for the possibility that maybe, just maybe, I’m the only one that was entertained.

At any rate, I’m tired of them. Bored to tears, actually. Putting together three lines in 5-7-5 format has officially become a laborious task. And if there’s something one should never feel, it’s that his/her blog has become a chore. Even when you’re talking about fill-in content.

So, no more haiku. I’m done with them for now. Perhaps someday, when the rainbows shine; when the birds sing of haiku; I’ll come back to them.

The question now, then, is what am I going to use for a fill-in gimmick? Just because I don’t want to dip into the pool of short Japanese poetry anymore doesn’t mean I won’t still need the occasional substitute content to keep you kids awake and paying attention to me. Of course, I know what you’re thinking, “Puddin, is it really necessary to have a predefined format for this shenanigans? Why not just drop two a couple of sentences about what you’re doing that’s soooo important and call it a night?”

That’s a fair point. Were I a normal person, there’s simply no reason not to take exactly that approach. But as you know, I’m not a normal person, am I? I’m the kind of person that starts writing a post with a sentence about how much my bunions ache only to realize 600 words later that I’ve managed to somehow transition into an analysis of why George Lucas needs to stop “tweaking” the first three Star Wars films (including an in-depth look at the life of a satirical character named Walter the Weeping Wookie).

In other words, the whole point of having a structured substitution format is that it keeps me from “pulling a puddin” and going completely off the rails, because that often results in a “short” post that ends up a 1700 word essay on why I like loose-fitting jeans.

I think we can all agree that no one needs to read about why I prefer loose-fitting jeans.

I think we can also agree that I need to come up with a new short gimmick. I’d been thinking about giving the limerick a trial run, and ironically, a devoted reader suggested the exact same thing independently. Five lines, a couple of rhymes, and a bawdy topic. Yes, this sounds like it is right up my alley.

I’ll just have to make sure I don’t use the old “There once was a girl from Nantucket” line; my mom and mother-in-law read Puddintopia. Probably best to keep it mostly clean.


2 thoughts on “Goodbye, so long, and farewell to haiku

  1. Hey I want your first limerick to use these lines:

    “There once was a girl from the valley” and “Yes, this sounds like it is right up my alley.”


  2. There once was a girl from the valley
    Her boyfriend was Sean O’Malley
    He drank too much beer
    Tried to stick it in her ear
    And she said, “Yes, this sounds like it is right up my alley”


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