Hey now, you’re an All-Star

Not much time tonight for long-form rantings, boys and girls.  The MLB All-Star Game will be getting underway very shortly, and I’ve promised to watch the first few innings with the PuddinPop.  Trust me, that’s not a complaint.  As far as fatherly duties go, I’ve done far less palatable things.  It’s not like changing that nasty stuff in an infant’s first full diaper that’s black like a Kardashian soul and sticky as a Congressman’s money hand.

This year’s game should be making me especially happy as four our of local ballplayers were picked to represent in Arizona.  It does really do me good to see Joey Votto, Jay Bruce, Brandon Phillips, and Scott Rolen all prepped to play in National League unis.  Truth be told, though, as much as I love me some Scott Rolen, I’m not sure I think he’s in the tops of 3rd basemen this year.  I’m mean, of course I don’t want anyone else playing the hot corner at Great American Ballpark this summer, but he’s kind of been hitting like a Catholic school girl so far this season. 

To be fair, though, that’s supposed to happen when you reach your senior years in baseball.  It’s odd to live in a time where you’re just glad to see aging stars play like aging stars.

Reds participation aside, I have to admit that I think most of the shine has worn off their Mid-Summer Classic over the past decade or so.  It used to be a fun, largely informal exhibition baseball game that broke up a long, hot season.  But now…it counts, kind of?  Maybe?  I mean, it’s still not real baseball, especially considering they play it like little league.  Yep, everyone gets to play.  Then, if everyone’s good and nobody gets caught with a loaded bat or a full syringe of The Juice, we’ll stop for ice cream after! 

Yet, the result of this thing dictates who gets home field advantage in the World Series?Yeah, I don’t get it.  And don’t even get me started on that “tie” a few years ago.

Even worse, nowadays, it’s a media circus.  Seriously, it’s almost as bad as the NFL Draft for TV coverage of a largely meaningless event.  And did you catch that Home Run Derby last night?  Holy cow, that’s thing went forrrrrr-eeeeeeeeeee-vvvvvvvvvvvvaaaaaaah.  I think the batters were doing free tax preparation for fans between hits or something.  I unsuspectingly told the PuddinPop he could stay up and watch the whole thing last night, not realizing that he’d be catching the end of it just as that guy got up to make the donuts at Dunkin’. 

If you ask me, then, I think the magic’s done been squeezed out of the All-Star Game.  That golden goose has been sliced up and made into pate.

Then again, the PuddinPop is riveted by this thing.  In fact, he’s already giving me the wishful eye, which means he’s silently hoping I’ll let him stay up and watch that whole thing.  So that makes me wonder…did they squeeze the magic out of the game?

Or has it been squeezed out of me?

I’m gonna go watch the game and figure it out.


2 thoughts on “Hey now, you’re an All-Star

  1. Excuse me, what you better take back is the remark about Catholic school girls! A certain Catholic school girl I know used to play catch with her two little boys in the back yard and even your dad (and he should know) tells me I have a pretty good arm — so there, Mr. Smarty, take it back!!!! (because I said so!)


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