What to do in the ridiculous heat

In case you missed the last night’s late news, a heat wave that could possibly rival the upcoming End of the World (October, right?) is currently tormenting the majority of the continental United States.  I therefore decided that now would be good time to write a post about how to deal when temperatures exceed “unpleasant”, reach north of “ridiculous”, and ultimately settle at “OMG Melty Sweaty It Burns It Burns”.

Of course, my solutions aren’t particularly novel.  I encourage:

  • Lethargy
  • Sleeping nekkid on the AC vent
  • Swimming in the nearest available pool (just make sure the owners aren’t gun people)
  • More Lethargy
  • Playing a round or four of “Thawing Frozen Peas with Your Face” (fastest time wins)
  • Heavy Drinking

Those are all pretty self-explanatory, but I had this compelling urge to explain my position on that last one in length.  And because taking a basic topic that needs little explanation and examining it in excruciating detail using as many rambly words as possible is kind of my thing, well, that’s exactly what I did in a new Hoperatives post.  So click the link there and find out what kind of liquid refreshment I look for when Mother Nature decides to do a little baking.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m getting a bag of peas and going back to my vent for a nap.