I managed to make it all the way through my obligatory screening of Twilight last night and didn’t even get a case of the nods. See there? That’s proof that occasionally, my physical form still bends to my wishes. Yes, that’s right, take that, advancing middle age! I’m still in charge around here, and I’ll stay up late watching movies whenever I want. I just won’t want anymore after hockey games. Or when I’ve been in the sun all day. Or the night after cutting the grass.
So, what did I think of the movie? Boy, whew, would you look at the time. I’ve got to get bed, um, because I was up, err…late last night. Yaaaaawn. Good night!
Not buying that? Ok, seriously, here’s the thing. It wasn’t…awful. I actually…kinda liked it…a little. Just a bit, mind you. Now, though, I’m all irked that I might, maybe, have to read the whole damn “saga”. What’s worse is that I’m going to feel compelled to see the rest the damn movies when they come out. I’m not paying to see them at a theater, mind you. Oh hell, no. I can just imagine being dragged out of the cine-plex, clutching a bag of excessively priced popcorn to my chest, by well-intentioned police officers called to investigate a suspicious-looking pudgy guy sitting alone in a dark theater with a hundred and fifty love-struck teenage girls.
No sir, this is why I have a 56-inch HD TV in my family room. I don’t have to be “the creepy guy”. I can share those special, private moments with Bella and Edward without fear of judgment, embarrassment, or criminal charges.
Ahem, moving on. It was a loving, shiny, happy day today. The sun actually appeared in the sky and my kids got outside to play. It was so nice that I even decided we should celebrate the “springness” of the evening with a trip for ice cream after dinner. The Puddinette, being the wiser and better of our halves, did some quick research and found that it’s apparently berry time at UDF. That means special prices on the berry-flavored ice creams, cones, etc.
When we arrived, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to get anything; I haven’t got much of a sweet tooth, really. I do love me some chocolate, but I have to be in the mood for ice cream. At any rate, the wife entered the store with instructions to let me know if the berry-derived shakes were on sale. As it turns out, they were, indeed, on special too. I asked her to kindly procure for me a raspberry chocolate chip shake. As I said, I do love me some chocolate.
When she got back in the car and handed me my 24 ounces of extra thick goodness, I asked her how much it was after the special. She told me the sale price was $1.99, but mine was 75 cents more because they told her the “raspberry chocolate chip is a UDF/Homemade ice-cream”.
Um, what? Really? Look, I’m sorry, but isn’t this a United Dairy Farmers location? Isn’t that, you know, what they sell here? What other kind of ice-cream was I supposed to get? Do they have a McDonald’s soft-serve machine in the back some place? Should I maybe have run across the street to Wal-Mart for a generic half gallon that the UDF people to make a shake with for me?
Seriously, this is messing with me. Does anyone know what the hell this business is about? If not, I might not sleep tonight as I ponder the other places in the world where they have stuff with sale prices, which you have to pay a little more for because, you know, it’s the brand they sell there. Got help me when I find out how much more my tacos are costing me because I want them to use Taco Bell meat.