No Comment

As a rule, Puddintopia doesn’t get a lot of comments on the actual blog itself. Sometimes a posted link will attract a mention or two on Facebook, or occasionally, if I’ve written something that one or the other of my parents identifies with or feels compelled to shoot me an I told you so about, they’ll leave a comment. Aunt Babysitter, too, will leave a remark in the space below my rantings every so often. That’s really about it, though. My rabid fan base is still in the fledgling stage, which is cool with me because it means I can largely identify anyone who happens to have two cents to toss in, and I don’t have to worry about random lurkers making offensive slurs while I’m not looking. My readership, while growing slowly and steadily, is small enough at the moment that the hate speak is limited to me complaining about my phone company. Being offensive around here is my job.

Some other blogs I read regularly have to do things like close comment threads sometimes to keep the flame-trolling to a minimum. One in particular references using the “Mallet of Loving Correction” for moderating the unclean masses. I may not retire before I have enough to readers to clutter Puddintopia with Google Ads for incontinence products and Cialis, but at least at the moment I don’t have to worry that some jack hole has decided to use the space below my posts as the appropriate location to wax poetic on the shortcomings of the Oompa Loompas as a people.

Actually, I have so few comments that I manually approve whatever slips past the spam filter. And yes, there is a spam filter for blog commentary.

Seems a little silly, doesn’t it? Very necessary, though. Since the start of the Puddintopia Writing Challenge, I’ve been at this for just over 200 days, and in that time we’ve gotten roughly 730 comments, over 580 of which were spam. If not for the filter, I would have had to reject each of those by hand. And my time is much too important for that.

Ok, so it’s not really. But rejecting all of those manually would be tedious. I don’t like tedium. It’s not very fun.

So what kind of spam comments, you ask? I usually let them pile up in quarantine before doing some bulk deletion. At the moment, I have 22 spam comments. Highlights include:

  • A commenter theoretically name Robert wrote that he lived in Lubbock, Texas. He wanted to thank me for sharing my site. I’m not sure how I’m sharing it, or with whom. Orphans, maybe? Oprah? Either way, good for you, Robert! Odd, though, that your website and email addresses both include pitches for Google Android-based phones. It’s almost like someone’s trying to use my comments to sell stuff!
  • Rosemary decided that my post about haircuts was “very informative and easy to understand.” I’m supposed to look for more such comments from her. She did complain that the pictures took a long time to load. Since there weren’t any with that particular post, I can see how one might wait a long time before any appeared.
  • Mariano, surprisingly, had the exact same comment as Rosemary. Word for word. Verbatim. So, it’s not just irrelevant, but plagiarism too!
  • Miato and Boldy both left comments in Spanish. I didn’t realize I had such an international fan base.
  • Dale, Emile, Holly, Kym, and Zack all wanted to know if I’m “sick of obtaining low numbers of useless traffic for your site”. Apparently they all have an “underground tactic which makes (them) personally $900 on a daily basis on 100% AUTOPILOT.” What’s this? 900 dollars a day on AUTOPILOT? Sign me up, without delay! And here I was wasting my time with writing new content for you non-paying freeloaders!
  • Someone name Lyme Disease claims to be a “passionate blogger” themselves, but goes on to say “somehow, many writers never the credit score they deserve”. I’m not really sure how those things are related, but I suppose my lack of understanding simply means I’m not passionate enough. I’ll try to improve, Lyme, I promise.

So. There you go. Enjoy a quick taste of my daily blog spam. I would complain about the wastefulness and irritation, but honestly, the spam filter catches 99% of it and as an added bonus, I am mildly entertained by perusing the queue every three or four days.

With all that in mind, though, riddle me this: my home, where the Puddintopia web server resides, was without an internet connection or phone service all weekend. So how did we end up with four new spam comments in the quarantine queue over that timeframe? Yes, that’s right, we were even getting spammed with no signal. Who’s lucky like me?

Then again, I guess I should just be glad I wasn’t getting telemarketer calls too.

Your comments?