You can keep your case of the Mondays

Monday. The mere utterance of the word is often enough to send people running panicked through streets, like the citizens of Tokyo before Godzilla’s terrifying Atomic Breath. Nobody likes Monday; everybody hates Monday. In fact, a quick glance through one’s Facebook News Feed on a Monday morning can quickly result in a case of the contagious Monday Blues that’ll have you reaching for the Prozac, the Wild Turkey, or worse, that ragged Teddy Bear your mother never succeeded in separating from you.

Well, I’m done with it. I’m officially calling b#llsh!t on anyone demonstrating symptoms of having a nastycase of the Mondays.

Look, the thing is that for you, me, and every other human being on planet Earth, every seventh day is going to be a Monday. Do you really want to automatically give up one-seventh of your potential happiness just because one day falls at the end of the weekend? There’s always going to be a day where you have to go back to the grind, and that’s hard enough. But whining and complaining about it like a talking Suzy-Wets-A-Lot doll that just got 3 bottles of bathroom tap water isn’t going to make anyone’s day better or the weekend last longer.

So here’s what you need to do. Get that morning beverage you enjoy, and if it’s not an unforgivable sin, perhaps the occasional baked good too. I will allow that if there’s a day to treat yourself a little, it’s the first day of the week. Once fortified with a pumpkin spice latte, mocha frappe, 44-ounce cola or what-have-you, it’s going to be easier to see things in a positive light. And really, that’s the trick here: perspective.

The thing is that we’d all probably prefer to spend the AM watching DVR’d episodes of Hoarders from bed in our jammies. But, as a career option, that pays slightly less than panhandling, and if you want to keep the house, DVR, and bed, you’re going to need to pay some bills. How you look at that, though, is the key. Don’t go to work because you have to, go to work because you’ve chosen to live your life with a DVR and a warm, dry, roof over your head.

I could even suggest that you go to work because you like what you do, but I’m afraid nonsense like that might result in a lynch mob showing up at our front door, torches and pitch forks at the ready.

Anyway, I think we should make an effort as a society to aggressively combat Monday malaise. We don’t have to take that Debbie Downer’s attitude when Sunday ends. I promise you that good stuff happens on the first day of the week too. For instance, today the heavens opened finally and showers fell sporadically upon the parched lawns of the Midwest. My yard sucked it up like Spongebob. Also, I got a new nephew today. My elder brother and his wife welcomed their fourth child into the world, a healthy strapping lad who’s no doubt marveling at every new little worldly detail even as I type.

I’d say he had a pretty good day for a Monday. No reason the rest of us can’t too.



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