Crazy talk and Awesomeness

You know what’s the best part about being me? I’m pretty sure it’s that I’m bat$h!t crazy. That’s not only because little green people follow me everywhere I go or because I see a 12-foot tall cauliflower blue rabbit all year round. But I got that going for me, which is nice.

What really has me thinking I’m nuts is the extreme shift in my mood the past few days. On Wednesday, I spent most of the day giving Eeyore a run for his money to prove who was the Grumpier Gus. It seems he’s got me cold on sullen sustainability, though. Here we are just 36 or so hours later, and I’m hopped up like a kid about to go to his first Monster Truck Jam* with dad.

What’s the difference, then?

Well, admittedly, the four shots of espresso over ice I had this morning probably didn’t hurt. I had a chocolate muffin too – those things bring good cheer like an elf with pointy shoes and a red and green jumpsuit. But that’s not the whole story. The thing is, some days are just Made Of Awesome™, and today is one of them. My coffee this morning was just the right bitterness to make me gleeful (obviously, I didn’t stop at the Starbucks of Questionable Result), I had a supremely tasty lunch at a really cool place that just does grilled cheese and tomato soup (in like 7000 varieties), we got an invite to the in-laws for dinner, there’s a UK tournament game on tonight, and I’m going to homebrew this evening for the first time in something like four years.

I also got to play with and work on integration for a really cool new super secret toy that demonstrates exactly how we live in The Future. That never hurts.

Admittedly, the homebrewing has me more pumped than anything else. In fact, I’m so excited that even though I spent roughly an hour scrubbing a 6 gallon glass carboy with what is effectively an oversized pipe cleaner last night, I didn’t mind in the least. In case you’re not familiar with my (lack of) interest in cleaning things, let me just say that back in my bachelor days, my apartment got cleaned only slight more frequently than the Cincinnati Bengals made the playoffs, and only because my brother usually got out the Pledge.

Brewing, however, demands absolute cleanliness unless you want your effort rewarded with something that tastes like the underside of a toad. And my glass fermentation vessel was, um, well, horrifyingly unclean. Unfortunately, it didn’t get washed out the last time it was used**, which means that a dry ring of vaguely mud-like brownish yeast-crud clung fiercely to the inside of the thing like a cat trying to avoid a bath. Seriously, if you’ve never made beer and don’t know what the Ring of Yeasty Doom looks like, well, let me say that it ranks just below putting your hands in the cold bowls of “eyeballs” and “intestines” at a Halloween party for grossness factor. So, I had a huge glass jar with a mere 1-inch opening that looked like it had been used in a science class dissection project and then left to molder.

Have you ever tried to clean something that can hold six gallons of fluid but only has a 1 inch throat? It’s like building one of those ship-in-a-bottle things but in reverse. Nonetheless, after an hour of applying elbow-grease to some hardcore scrubbing through a little tiny hole, my fermenter was nigh spotless. And tonight, once my coffee wears off and my in-laws graciously feed me and my family, I’m going to fill it with malty, hoppy wort and begin counting down the days until I can pop the top on a beer of my own making.

See…some days truly are just Made of Awesome™.


*Sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY! Seriously, though, why are they always on Sunday?

** Lest the Puddinette think I’m a disgusting pig that doesn’t clean my toys when I’m through with them, I will point out that I wasn’t the one who last used it and left it goo-ridden.

One thought on “Crazy talk and Awesomeness

  1. As the chief goo ridder at this household, I can relate to items almost totally impossible to access. On a recommendation, bought murphy’s oil soap for the kitchen cabinets so when the moment strikes me…… Right now, the project is a horrifying thought 🙂


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