As you can see from the rather unorthodox-looking image proudly displayed to the left of the title line above, I kept my promise. That is the first of two reader-chosen avatar images that will eventually grace both my blogging persona and my personal Facebook profile. And just in case you weren’t complete sure, yes, that’s Bill Cosby’s face in a Jello Pudding Pop.
I’m looking forward to cease and desists letters from about six different sources. My entire platoon of cutthroat attorneys at Dewey, Skrooum, and Howe are waiting for a call.
Earlier tonight, one of my Facebook friends commented about the new profile pic, following a thread that cropped up about actually pudding pops. Apparently, the new avatar has cast them in an unappetizing light for her, and with a hint of revulsion she asked, “would you eat that”?
To which I am proud to unflaggingly reply, “No, no I wouldn’t.”
Look, I loved a Jello Pudding Pop just as much as the next kid. Heck, probably more. In my youth, mid-July dinners looked like the annual Nathan’s Hot Dog eating contest. We’d race to see who could shovel their plate clean first and call dibs on the chocolate pops in the variety pack in the freezer. Yes, Virginia, shame does have a flavor, and it’s frozen butterscotch on a stick.
Anyway, so yes, I lurved me some pudding pop, but no, I would touch the “confection” that currently represents me with a 10-foot popsicle stick. Melty or not, it’s Bill Cosby’s FACE.
Look, I grew up in the Age of the Huxtable, when everybody loved the ‘Coz. I had a closet full of sweaters with patterns that were aesthetically questionable. I watched Leonard, Part 6 the requisite 3 times and then some. I drank the New Coke because, um, well I don’t know why; it was awful. But Cosby said to drink it, so we did. And then we prayed to him to bring old Coke back to us, and he did, reinforcing why we all loved him. Indeed, it’s safe to assume that no child of the late 80’s didn’t love Bill Cosby.
But I didn’t want to lick his face then, and I certainly don’t want to lick his face now. Even in a caricaturized form on a pudding pop drawing. So, no, I wouldn’t eat that.
Then again, maybe, if I could eat it that one way, you know, how you try to get the thin sheet of ice that covers each side of the pop off without breaking it? Yeah, if I could do that, and ditch the Cosby face in the process, maybe, just maybe…
And that, my friends, is why I can’t have nice profile pictures. Because they lead to 500 word posts about licking pudding pops.
And with that, I believe I’ve done enough damage for one week.
A huge, massive “Thank You” to Lucky Winning Reader Number 1, who provided me with the Melty Cosby jpeg. Truly, everyone seems to love it.
Now I’m hungry; I wonder what’s in the freezer.
Have a good weekend. Remember your vitamin B before bed.