A Monday With Unusual Chemistry

Yes, of course I have a pair of socks proudly emblazoned with the Periodic Table of Elements. These were actually a gift from my sister-in-law, whose taste in picking out the appropriate socks for me is apparently spot-on.

Sadly, due to a somewhat common personality condition know as “being a dumbass” (that’s the clinical term) that prevents my sense of time and space from being half as accute as my love of the science-y and nerd-adjacent, I neglected to wear these on an appropriate chemistry-related day, such as October 23. Indeed, Mole Day would have been a much more fitting date for these, but, alas, I am what I am. Thus, you get them on November 26th.

Not all is lost, however! According to the National Day Calendar — which surely is at least as reliable as any almanac you might pick up — today is both National Cake Day and Cyber Monday. Which, I mean, I’ll assume you knew about the Cyber thing. Otherwise you’re likely be living under a rock or totally off the grid in the deep Alaskan wilderness in one of those fancy, (err, not so fancy) electricity-optional cabins. Either case makes you an unlikely reader of this blog.

Now, while “Cyber Monday” certainly sounds at least somewhat science-y — or at least sci-fictiony — as we all know, it’s decidedly no such thing. The good news is that although I harbor suspicions that this shadowy Calendar organization is probably slipping multiple cake days into every year, it’s actually not a bad fit for chemistry-related socks. Scoff if you must, but I challenge anyone out there to make a half-decent cake without serious consideration for the balance between the acid and alkaline content of its ingredients. No balance, no rise. No rise and, well, you’re not making cake, you’re making doorstops.

And that’s just plain science.