A Puddintopia Valentine

Courtesy Squidoo.com

Valentine’s Day isn’t everyone’s favorite. In fact, for years I was a card-carrying member of the Valentine’s-Is-A-Stupid-Corporate-Trick-To-Sucker-You-Outta-Cash Club.  Back in my lonely bachelor days, I figured it was all an insidious plot to make me feel like a huge loser because all my friends were off having fancy dinners while I was treating myself to a Larosa’s “It’s Great After 8” special, a couple of VHS movie rentals (ask your parents if you don’t know what VHS means, and if you’re brave, ask about Betamax too) and a six-pack of beer.

I know it sounds pretty awesome, but it really wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

After the Puddinette and I got hitched and my Valentine’s Day woes had gone by the wayside, I still tended to mutter and grumble every February 14th.  I mean, how could it not be manipulation by Hallmark and the diamond industry.  Surely she wouldn’t want me to waste our money on silly baubles when a truly connected, loving relationship is something you express every single day, right?

Plus…plus…this whole Valentine’s Day tradition is a big wide load of hooey!  That story about Valentine of Rome marrying young couples against Roman imperial decree until he lost his head over it is cute and all, but it’s really just a story.  In fact, even according to The Church, the feast of St. Valentine references three different martyred people named Valentine.  Nobody’s got the 411 on this business.  And the feast was removed from the Church calendar in 1969, anyway.

Oh, and all that love and romance and candy and flowers and Valentine’s cards and whatnot?  Yeah, none of that business was included on February 14th until Chaucer tied the two together, apparently unintentionally.  As far as I was concerned, then, that was all reason enough to just ignore all the nonsense.  In those days, I hoped The Puddinette would understand—perhaps even appreciate—my pragmatic approach.

Uh. Yeah. Not so much. Turns out newlywed husbands are dumb.

Now that I’m a bit older and a bit wiser, though, I ‘ve come to recognize that sometimes, well, often, Life is a pain in the backside.  And that can make it damned difficult to truly give your special someone the time and attention they deserve.  For instance, at 11 PM on Valentine’s Day 2012, I was replacing the flow valve assembly in our powder room toilet.

Because I rock that hard.

Uh-huh, that’s right, nothing says “I love you” like a working potty.

So, yeah, since Life has a habit of being a nuisance (and it’s been a real sonuvabitch around here lately), I’m okay with there being a day on the calendar built-in for couch snuggles and a few moments of togetherness.

You know, before you get back to replacing that plumbing.

I hope everyone had a marvelous Valentine’s Day today, even without the plumbing problems.

Here’s to everyone finding someone to Valentine.

Me? I’m a lucky guy; the Puddinette apparently hasn’t tired of me yet.

Te amo, Querida.  Tu eres la luna, el sol, las estrellas, y todo mi mundo. Te amo mas que…

Happy Valentines Day!