It’s been a bit since I’ve done a Movie in 100 Words or Less. It seems like over holidays I was pumping ’em out like every week or so, which is nearly as fast those crazy Duggar people pump out young-un’s with j-names. But then I got all wrapped up in some books or whatever, leaving you all to your own devices when it comes to popcorn-and-movie-time.
Clearly this needs to be remedied.
Luckily, I just so happen to have seen Ted for the first time recently. And if there’s any movie I should be able to reduce to 100 words or less, I’d expect Ted to be a good candidate. I mean, come on, it’s about a pot-smoking, beer-swilling teddy bear trying to make it* after being brought to life by a child’s wish two decades before.
I expected to enjoy Ted. Not love it, of course, but to get mild late-night laughs from a movie of dick jokes and unnecessary boob shots. I mean, the bar with me is set low enough for Oompa Loompas. Hell, I mostly enjoyed Your Highness. But, damn, Ted was bad. Sure, I liked the characters and chuckled once or twice, but the story was so dumb it was cringe-inducing. The plot was less believable than the idea of a living, talking teddy bear and I expected better from MacFarlane. I suffered through the whole thing only for Mila Kunis’ sake.
Does that mean you shouldn’t waste a handful of your precious few moments of life bother checking it out? I can’t say for certain. Maybe your threshold for ridiculously nonsensical plotlines is more forgiving than mine. Indeed, there are people—adults, even—who I know and respect that found it hilarious and love it with the love of things you love a lot. So let’s not assume I’m the Last Word on the matter. But, maybe, if you’re considering giving Ted some of your valuable time in the expectation of “stupid-yet-entertainingly funny”, allow for the possibility that it might just be too stupid for the funny offered.
Then again, maybe I’m just no fun anymore.
Now you kids get offa my lawn!
*This may not represent an accurate synopsis of the story, but the filmmakers didn’t seem to care about the plot, so why should I?