I’ve made no attempt to hide that fact that I’m quite the fan of Cincinnati’s (in)famous style of chili. In fact, for a few months back in 2011, I was even compiling research to find the “best” take-out 3-way chili in Puddintopia’s award-winning 3-Way Thursday series. I swear, it was at least as scientific as asking a room full of preschoolers to name their favorite color.
Of course, I understand that not everyone is an enormous fan of Cincinnati chili. As I’ve said before, though, I’m of the opinion that many, many more people would be open-minded about it if we were to call it something besides chili, because t runs amuck of most people’s concept of what chili is supposed to be. The concoction takes a lot of heat (heh heh, heat, get it?) on a comparative basis when really it’s more a spiced (not necessarily spicy) meat sauce than a true chili.
But I digress. The point is not to debate chili today.
Today we’re talking about crackers.
After giving it waaaaay more thought than the matter deserves (i.e., greater than 1.23 seconds), I concluded today that for my money (did I mention these things are free when you buy a 3-way?), the best oyster crackers in the city come from Skyline Chili.
Yes, Skyline Chili. And yes, I realized Skyline is a corporately-owned chain and I’m a horrible embarrassment to independent-thinking and freedom-loving humanity everywhere, a hollow corporate shill that probably sold out for a lifetime supply of 3-ways and cheap plastic bibs*. But what can I say? Their crackers are crisp, light, and just the right level of salty to fulfill your monthly recommended intake. They provide the perfect complement to chili of any variety, and shine even brighter when you squeeze a precious drop of hot sauce into the cracker’s cavity and pop into your appreciative mouth while waiting for your gut-and-weekend-juice-cleanse-busting 3-way to be delivered to your table.
Of course, that’s just my opinion. As always, I’ll allow for the possibility that I could be wrong. It’s obviously not a good possibility, but there was that one time I was mistakenly under the impression I was already wearing pants went I went out to get the mail. The continued letters from the Home Owner’s Association prove as a regular reminded that me being incorrect is not completely out of the realm of the feasible.
So, then, puddintopians, here’s an out-of-the-blue installment of Weekend Debate:
Where Do You Get The Best Oyster Crackers?
Have you got an opinion on the matter, what to scream until your face turns pink at me about how awful Cincinnati chili is, or just generally have something to say? Leave a comment below, tweet me, book me in the face, email me, leave me a graffiti message on the side of your house, whatever. Let’s get some cracker-related discussion going.
Because if you can’t talk have feelings about oysters crackers, what can you have feelings about?
(Oh, and, of course, it wouldn’t be a weekend debate without a poll, now would it?)
*For the record, I am not now, nor have I ever been beneath the gum-crusted boot heel of any corporate sponsorship. That said, I would totally sell myself, my soul, and probably my dog (if not one or more children) to pimp Skyline on a daily basis, in any format they deemed necessary, in exchange for a lifetime supply of 3-ways. You hear that, Evil Corporate Overlords? CALL ME!