What I did on Christmas staycation

It all started innocently enough.

Not long after that, though, there were ominous portents, as seen here.

While the contents of that bottle did manage to survive the day unmolested, I was altogether too busy doing, um, “other stuff” to post much of anything Monday. Thus began my blogging silence.

The next morning dawned bright, cheery, and believe it or not, hangover-free. Even better, Christmas Eve was full of hope, joy, and (apparently) cookies for breakfast. Also, this was the first step in the en-ham-ening of my spirit. For the record, my blood is now (36 hours post-Christmas) 87.3% ham and rising. Porcine levels are expected to level off and begin to recede on Monday, December 30th and 11:17 AM.

What? Homemade all-day bean soup and Double Bastard aren’t everyone’s Christmas Eve traditions? Wow. I’m sorry to hear that. Dude, you’re kind of missing out.

Okay, fine, so maybe that other stuff wasn’t exactly mainstream. But youcannot argue with me about the pure holiday joy of a tumbler (that’s the style of glass, with the “e”, not the social media tool that’s all consonants and pictures ofkittens and Tom Hiddleston.

The stockings were all hung by the chimney with care, and that’s when I finally sat down to relax for a minute and remembered Christmas wasn’t just about peace on Earth and good will towards men, but the Dr. Who Christmas special (with Bonus! Regeneration!)

On the heels of that realization, of course, I remembered that TBS’s annual marathon of A Christmas Story was underway.  And, well, with that though, my hand was reaching for the remote before you could even think, “Red Ryder carbine-action, two hundred shot Range Model air rifle.”

Maybe it was due to my oldest sons being roughly Ralphie’s age now, but for some reason, I saw A Christmas Story with fresh eyes this year. I didn’t see it through strictly Ralphie worldview, but increasingly from the Old Man. With that new perspective, a movie I’ve been watching for nearly thirty years become something completely new, and even more meaningful.

I’m serious about this. Next year, watch the Old Man’s face. The smirk he gives no one in particular after sending Raphie back to the car after the infamous “fudge” incident is parenthood in one look.

Then it was Christmas day and I barely had a moment to think and/or nap, let alone tweet something more than a jovial @-ed “Merry Christmas” here and there. Between the gifts and Santa and family and food and more food and all that other food I missed the first few times around, two day wonderful days flew past me in a shot. For the record, though, they didn’t shoot past so quickly that I couldn’t eat ham.  Because I did. I ate the ham.  All of it.

Today came, at last, and I returned to work, filled with holiday joy and memories. At which point I remembered that I hadn’t been posting anything to my blog in, like, a week. And here I wasted all of that time on my Christmas haiku. Guess I’ll have to save it for next year.

Next up, New Year’s! Which means I supposed it’s time to make my year-end list of things. You know, just as soon as I figure out what.

Hope your holidays have been magnificent so far. Enjoy the week to come.

And try not to set the place on fire.