It appears that recent events at la Casa de Puddin have led us to something of an overabundance of blueberries, without concrete plans for them. The berries in question were purchased in anticipation of our recent Blueberry Pancake Brunch Adventure™, but it seems there was a bit of a miscommunication between the heads of our Food Production and Acquisition departments regarding the minimum volume of the perky little indigo things required for a dozen pancakes.
That is, I (Food Production) decided it’d be swell to make some blueberry pancakes and thusly requested that the Puddinette (Acquisitions) pick some up the next time she was at the store. As it turns out, though, “some” wasn’t terribly specific when it comes to how many blueberries she actually needed to purchase. Choosing to err on the side of “it’s better to have too many than not enough,” she (quite reasonably) picked up two small containers.
We had blueberries! And thus begat blueberry pancakes! And there was much rejoicing!
Except, then I looked at the remaining one and three-quarters packages of the fruits and suddenly realized we had enough berries to send Violet Beauregarde into a full-blown PSTD-induced panic attack.
I’m therefore obligated to use said berries in something this weekend, lest the Acquisitions Department Manager count the surplus supply against me when it comes time for annual reviews. And I don’t need any mores strikes on my permanent record, if you know what I mean.Embed from Getty Images
So! What to do with our blueberries. Obviously, they will need to be made into some form of dessert. After all, I’ve yet to find one of the Mayo Clinic’s SuperFoods that couldn’t be improved with the addition of an ubermetric (shut up, it is too a word I just made it up and we’re talking about dessert here anyway) butt-ton of carbs in the form of sugar, flour, etc.
What to make?
In the not too distant past, I made excellent use of blueberries in a buckle, a kind of coffee cake/cobbler thing. And it was delicious. The Puddinette, though, isn’t always in a buckle-y mood, and suggested maybe I do something else this time around. Well, faster than you can say “Maine coffee shop” my brain screamed PIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE! at me, sounding very much the way one of those lighthouse foghorns would.
And really, who can argue with that? The pie suggestion, I mean. Come on, with the exception of Pop-Tarts, has there been a better way throughout the course of man’s existence here on Earth to encapsulate fruit into a questionably healthful yet deliciously crusted form?
I say doubtful.
Of course, that’s not to say I intend to make a blueberry pie this weekend. Because, see, we have four children and dog, mind you, and blueberries in a viscous, semi-softened dessert state (with added sugar!) have the ability to form permanent bonds with any solid material found in the modern home.
Which is to say, Oh! the humanity! Won’t somebody think of the drapes and the table clothes?!
Yeah, I don’t want to have to replace everything I own because it’s suddenly stained violet. The sad fact is, blueberry pie is just too dangerous outside of a diner/coffee shop scenario where one has the opportunity to escape quickly while leaving behind a slightly too-large tip to cover any permanent damage.
Long story short, I’m still not decided on what to do with all these blueberries. I figured, then, we should do what we always do in these situations and take suggestions. So let’s hear your ideas, puddintopians. What’s your favorite blueberry application? Smoothie? Ice Cream? Engine lube? Do tell! What do you think we should do with our little purple pods this weekend? Speak now, and drop it like it’s hot in the comments below.
I’ll be waiting, and honestly, I can’t wait to see the magic happen.
On that note, ladies and gentleman, I’m outta of here for the weekend. I’ve got sleep to catch up on and soccer games to dad.
You have a great weekend, one and all, and, uh, try not to set the place on fire!