About That Whole “No Mas Words” Thing

Of course it was an April Fool’s Day thing

My very precocious five year-old (who still occasionally justifies his original moniker, The Attitude, even if with less frequency these days) tends to become a tad uneasy when he thinks we’re yanking his chain about something. For instance, every time I quip something like, oh, “we’re having snails for dinner,” or “Daddy is going to have to sell a kidney to pay for your college,” or “I’ll send every last one of those damn interlocking bricks straight to the moon via carrier pigeon if you don’t pick up your contusion-inducing LEGOs,” his face will darken for a moment while he evaluates the likelihood of the situation.  Then, once he realizes the action in question isn’t really that probable, he’ll brighten again, offer a sly grin, and say, “joking?”

But it’s always a question. There’s always a hint of tentativeness tacked on to the end of the word suggesting that somewhere deep down, he really does fear I might have the power to send his foot-impaling Bricks of Doom moonward via avian delivery device.

He always laughs, of course, when the Puddinette or I admit, “Yeah, we’re just kidding.” And then he goes on about the business of being five, which includes running from point A to point B for no reason other than because he can, and deviously dropping the least noticeable, sharpest-edged plastic bricks in the high traffic areas of our home.

I couldn’t help but think of him last night when I got a handful messages indicating that one or two of you did, in fact, believe that per yesterday’s post, I was giving up on writing words in favor of making “illustrations”.  And, yes, I have to use quotes there. Suggesting that the eye-searing abominations images I somehow managed to produce should be considered actual illustrations is, in fact, an unforgivable insult to the wonderful efforts of real illustrators tirelessly work their bums off every day to make art and improve their skills.

After all, just look at the “example” illustration from my non-existent picture book, Bat and Weasel Go To Town. That’s maybe the most generic bat ever drawn in the history of sightless, flying rodents.  And Weasel? The poor googly-eyed thing has no ears and is the same lifeless shade of brown as decade-old compost. Seriously, this scene could just as easily be titled, “Brown Godzilla and BatRa Approach Tokyo.”

So, no, that entire rant, from the opening words to the sample portfolio of my work, was nothing more than an April Fool’s Day joke made purely to entertain myself. I am still—and will always be—in love with words, which is clearly evidenced by the fact I’ve just now gotten to the point, more than 400 of the pesky creatures into this post.

In other words, Happy April 2nd, everyone! And don’t worry, there’s plenty more haiku, rants, rambles, and ridiculousness in store for all you faithful puddintopians. I promise to keep putting together blog posts and novels and whatever else comes to mind.  I’ll continue writing until the day comes when the words no longer fall out of my head*.

And I hope you’ll still enjoy the ride.


*Although…I might play with the blog theme a bit. It was fun to look a little different for once. I felt like we got all dressed up for dinner.