I went out on our back patio last night to enjoy the dwindling moments of daylight and the evening breeze with The Hero’s Guide to Saving Your Kingdom. What I found before settling in astonished me.
…made the green…
I realize that many of you are probably eying my little green tomatoes and our fledgling jalapenos there and thinking, “Psht! Whatever. I’ve got bunions bigger that that, and they’re a deeper green, too!”
But you don’t get it…my skill with just keeping plant life alive is right up there with Justin Bieber’s ability to go 24 hours without saying something idiotic in front of a wall of mics and cameras. My thumb isn’t just black, it’s the void, empty color of that soulless Abyss from which the Kardashian children clawed their way into our unsuspecting world. And, again, that’s usually just keeping a plant a live. The prospect of having one actually grow is a fantasy of Tolkien-esque proportions!
Yet, here it is, not even the 1st of July, and we’ve got enormous plants bearing tiny, adorable fruits. And if that doesn’t fill you with hope (and a hankerin’ for homemade salsa), I don’t even know what to say.
Well, except that maybe you should have your gigantic, green tinged bunions looked at. Because, really, yeah, that’s probably not good.