In Preparation For Snowpocalypse ‘16

If at any point, you had the grand misfortune of being exposed to your local news today – perhaps because you visited a dear, sleepy relative at Withering Acres, or you lost your remote control and were held captive for 3 frantic minutes to whatever local channel you happened to fall asleep in front of last night – you’ve undoubtedly heard something about the Great White Doom of 2016 coming for most of the southeast/eastern US tomorrow.

This post is not about that. If you ask me, wringing one’s hands over the possibility of being buried beneath a pile of frozen, crystalized rain tall enough to rival even the Greek Titans of old is about as useful as listening to my kids debate the likelihood of an off day tomorrow versus an off half-day, or even, the downright disastrous(!) full day of getting edu-macated.

[Update: Somehow, even without a single flake falling and the weather oracle of Delphi suggesting that we’re likely to get nothing until well after school hours, the school district just called to inform us that school has, indeed, been called off tomorrow already. For reasons I can assume would only be understood by personal injury attorneys.]

There’s plenty of horror to be found elsewhere, though, including the usual tales of tumbleweeds rolling through grocery store aisles where bread, milk, and, godsforfend, eggs could have been found in ample supply not 24 hours ago. Also, in cities across the eastern seaboard and midwest, some poor TV sap is digging out his/her thermal underwear, an Everest-rated ski coat, and a pair of mittens made for a Wampa, in preparation for doing a remote shot from the city’s salt storage silo tomorrow evening. You know you love the city’s salt pile report, right?

Oh, hey, did you hear that government for the state of Kentucky has already shut down for tomorrow?

Yeah, nobody needs any more of this nonsense.

So, instead, I offer you the following constructive, enriching posts about snow days. Because, dammit, people, we don’t have to freak every time that snowflake icon appears on our respective weather widgets’ forecast.

• How To Drive In The Snow, In A Regular-Ass Car, Without Freaking Out

• Embrace the Blizzard with Snow Day Cookies and Hot Cocoa
  

Huh. Um, so that’s about all I could find that looked interesting or helpful regarding snow. As it turns out, it seems the internet is a pretty good place to mostly just complain about the weather. Which basically makes it that old curmudgeon wasting his day down at the general store. Seems a pretty apt comparison now that I think about it.

Luckily, despite that, I also found a link about making cookies. But I think we all knew we’d be able to find a post about snow day cookies.

What’s that? You really would rather just spend your blog reading time with a maximum of whining and moaning about snow, ice, winter, and all the associated nonsense? Okay, FINE, I’ve got that covered for you, too.

Hunker down. Stay warm, kids. And enjoy your cocoa.

Pud’n