Super Stars Socks

Today I got to sport Starmen on my feet, which was fortuitous as it was the first day you could get one of the newly released NES Classics. (Believe it or not, I actually didn’t know about that Monday when I coincidentally declared this Old School Video Game week.)

So, as I was wearing Starmen, did I get a Power Rush and go charging through dangerous obstacles with heedless abandon? Well, no. Sadly, I was neither conspicuously faster nor invincible, even for a short time. And, in fact, my shirt was just as effective as usual at catching and retaining dribbles of my lunch. I guess that schtick only works for diminutive plumbers of Italian descent.

Have a great weekend, kids. And try not to set the place on fire.