What do two birthday parties for four year-olds and an elementary school festival have in common? Well, other than the fact that these are the activities that are effectively filling my weekend with a tsunami of near constant activity?
Two words: clowns.
Wait, that’s only one word. Creepy-ass clowns, then. Close enough.
Thankfully, I wasn’t actually subjected to any live-and-in-person-clown-action this weekend. But as I got to thinking about everything I had to do this weekend, I realized that kids’ birthday parties and elementary school events are something like the number two and three place you can potentially encounter a real, live, terrifying clown.
Number one, of course, being compact-car shopping.
Wait. What’s that? Clowns aren’t creepy and/or terrifying?
Yeah, look, are you sure you’re feeling okay?
Okay, fine. Maybe you’re right. Maybe not everyone thinks clowns are more horrifying than the prospect of your mother-in-law coming to stay for two weeks before Christmas. I mean, I guess I can concede that. After all, one of my cousins actually does the whole “clown-dress-up-face-painting” sideline, and I’m pretty sure she’s neither psychotic nor a serial killer. In fact, she’s pretty good people.
So, well, frak, I dunno what to think. I mean, clowns freak me the hell out, much more than vampires, werewolves, witches, or algebra. But, as we’ve established, I’m probably not right in the head. So then, lets put it up for debate…
Clowns: Creepy like your Aunt Velma’s cellar or Awesomely Full of Child-Like Fun and Whimsy?
Obviously, this requires an epic poll.
And on that note, I have to get back to my busy-as-an-ant-before-winter weekend.
Do me a favor, maybe be the grasshopper and have some fun for me? I’d appreciate it.