A movie in 100 words or less: Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

hansel_and_gretel_witch_huntersI think that when the inevitable unauthorized autobiographies of my life begin to come out (expect one at your favorite bookseller about the same time that Hell freezes right the hell over), one thing will be made abundantly, irrevocably clear:

I am an embarrassingly slothful person.  And if it weren’t for the Puddinette, I would never have owned an iron.

Okay, so maybe that’s not exactly Earth-shattering knowledge. Let’s follow that up with something a little more fun, then.  How’s this: I’m genetically predisposed to love me some stuff adapted from Grimm folk tales.  I mean, Red Riding Hood, Rumpelstiltskin, Rapunzel? These are all fantastically dark, twisted tales derived from Germanic folk lore. How you can you not love them and their sinister plots?

Random aside: if you wrote a collection of stories today that included as many children being eaten throughout the compilation as tend to end up in someone’s cookpot here in Grimm stories, how long before you had either Child Protective Services or the FBI (or both) going through your trash?

Anyway, I caught Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters on Blu-ray this weekend.  So, here, have 100 words or less about it:

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

Silly. Ridiculous. Twisted. Dark. Fun. Those five words pretty much sum up Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters for me. It doesn’t take itself seriously, and that’s the key that separates it from being good ridiculous and bad ridiculous. Sure, if you’re looking for a flick where the plot makes sense and everything happens for a good reason besides incredible convenience, this probably isn’t the movie for you. But if not, for being a bit tongue-in-cheek, it held my interest with solid action and an interesting story. I’d definitely say there are worse ways to spend 90 minutes of your life.

Next up in the Netflix queue: Cloud Atlas. If I can successfully give it the 100-word treatment, I might just buy myself a pony.

And yes, of course everyone gets a ride.


5 thoughts on “A movie in 100 words or less: Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

  1. I can give you two words for Hansel and Gretel: Jeremy Renner.
    And yeah, that’s the hormonal female review, but whatever.

    Also, regarding Cloud Atlas, one word: WHY?



    1. I can see the Jeremy Renner thing. Honestly, he was the only decent thing about the new Bourne-less Bourne movie. Besides, I’d have watched Hansel & Gretel even if I expected it to be as annoying as bottom-of-your-shoe-parking-lot-chewing-gum because of Gemma Arterton. So who am I to judge? 🙂


  2. I don’t think you’ll be able to sum up Cloud Atlas in less than 100 word. You were lucky to do that treatment with Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters.


    1. Heh! I normally do manage to squeeze my thoughts on a movie into 100 words, but just barely (and it’s almost never less), but occasionally I’ll get going about something and can’t even come close (see: Man of Steel).

      But you’re SO right. I watched Cloud Atlas last night, and, um, yeah, if I post about it, it’ll be either 10 or 1000 words. 100 or less is a pipe dream!

      Thanks for the comment!


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