I know I mentioned the mournful lack of Happy Hour last Friday, so I won’t belabor the point again now, a week later. Still though, as with adorning my feet yesterday with the proper pair to honor the Opening Day was not (or, should I hope, has merely not yet been?), today called for Happy Hour socks, even if there wasn’t going to be a traditional hour of happiness.
In a way, though, these are the perfect socks for such a missed occasion. The beer bottles are a nice call out to the event, but if you’ll note, they are green bottles. And it’s certified objective fact that green beer bottles are a terrible idea. Like, it’s just basic science. See, because they’re mostly transparent and also a weird color, they allow sunlight to do its terrible work on the wonderful beverage within, producing a flavor that I most commonly refer to as “skunky”. I have heard other beer connoisseurs go so far as to call it “horse sweat”.
Which, let’s all agree, is not a thing we want to be drinking.
So! Here’s one key for your happy hours at home. Green bottles: good for Happy Hour socks. Bad for Happy Hour beer.
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