The dark, cold, grey expanse of another endless February lies before me…

Once again, the dark time is upon us.  The Super Bowl is over, and just like every year, the cold, sober, grey light of a February dawn brings the realization that I’m screwed.

Football is over.  Baseball has yet to start.

Basketball has little meaning until there’s a tournament involved, and I’ve got no sport or team to cheer for at the moment.

My household To-Do list has been growing, unchecked, since September, and now pretty much resembles that alien plant from Little Shop of Horrors.  In fact, every time I walk past it, mocking me from that magnet on the fridge, I hear a voice in my head cry out, “Feed me, Seymour.”

The good news, however, is that March brings hope.  March means spring. March means my birthday (even though I will be rolling over the 40-year hill).  Baseball will be building steam towards Opening Day. Plus, there’s a little thing call the NCAA Tournament, too (see above regarding basketball and tournaments).

But for now there’s nothing but grey skies, soul crushing cold, and 28 days of finding a way to survive without trading in your marbles for a handful of dryer lint and eventually trying to reproduce a full-scale diorama from the movie Child’s Play in your living room.

How’s that for a sunny, positive attitude?

What you (and I) need, then, is something to look forward to.  Luckily, I’ve got just the thing.

Beer.

Wait, wait, wait.  Hear me out.  I’m not saying you need to make a dedicated daily visit to your friendly neighborhood bar or beer store.  Nor am I advocating curling nightly into a fetal ball around a six-pack of Guinness, Sam Adams, or <insert your preferred beer here>.

I’m talking about something a little more special—and less fraught with long-term peril—than that, Cincinnati Beer Week.  You can read what it’s all about here, but the basic idea is to educate, inspire, and celebrate the progress, culture, and community surrounding well-crafted beer.

Beer week starts later this week, running from Feb. 7th to 14th, culminating in Cincy Winter Beefest on Feb. 15th and 16th.

So that’s something to look forward to right here.  And by the time we finally get over our respective Beerfest hangovers, Feb. 28th will be staring us right in the face.

Perhaps the best part is that in the midst of all this fun is 5B: Believers in Better Beer, Bites, and Blogging.  I’ve mentioned it before, but it bears repeating. 5B is a one-day blogging conference with three separate tracks (food, beer, and general blogging) for whatever your blogging focus.  The panels are designed to be fun, low-key, and conversational, and will appeal to just about anyone who has a blog about, well, anything.

Yes, even you, guy who blogs incessantly about his shoe inserts.  Maybe you’ll learn something new about getting those shiny photos of your new Dr. Scholl’s Odor-X Insoles just right.

You can check out the full conference schedule for 5B here, in case you’re curious what kind of sessions are available.  And, yes, if you’ve taken a good look at it, you’ve probably realized there’s this other thing about 5B I haven’t mentioned.  I’ll be, um, presenting on one of the panels. 

I’ll warn you, though, by “presenting”, there’s no telling exactly what might happen.  Which is to say, while there probably won’t be any table dancing, I’m not ready to completely discount it.  I mean, I have to talk about something for an hour and not come off like a either an idiot or a pompous blowhard.   Table dancing, then, is my primary emergency backup plan.

My secondary backup is a strenuous Kermit-flail followed by beating a hasty retreat.

At any rate, the point is, I highly recommend 5B if you in any way, shape, or form participate in the art and science of bloggery.  Come join us at 5B and have a good time.  Trust me, opportunities to mock me in person are few and far between.  Don’t miss this one!

Even more important that making fun of me, is the sweet deal you get with every 5B admission. Tickets cost $60 and you get admission to four events (yes they include beer):

• General Cincy Winter BeerFest Admission for Friday 2/15
• 5B Blog Conference on Saturday 2/16
• Lunch beer tasting + locals tasting from 4:00-6:00pm Saturday 2/16
• Connoisseur Cincy Winter BeerFest Admission for Saturday 2/16.  The connoisseur ticket includes a reception area featuring appetizer bites from 12 local chef-driven restaurants, each paired with a rare/super premium beer.  Plus, private restrooms.  Trust me, you want the private restrooms.

I can count on you to be there, right?  Sign up now, because, well, it’s February, and you need something fun to do anyway.

Pud’n