Archive | July 2013

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A haiku for the 2013 Cincinnati Reds

In one club, two teamsJekyll, pitcher’s bane. Runs mountDamn Hyde can’t find Home.

Trying to end the week on a high note

Before anyone gets too excited, I should mention that this post is not about the weekend shenanigans you might other associate with someone like me, who has, in the long distant past, demonstrated a general tendency to debase himself when he knows no alarm clock will be bleeping toward him at Undesirable O’Clock in the […]

It turns out I’m not perfect. Neither are you. And that’s okay.

Sometime between 10:30 and 11 PM Monday night, I made the entire world stop around me—kind of like Hiro could do on that show Heroes?—so I could fix a problem with the poem I posted in honor of the Royal Mouth-To-Feed’s much-tweeted about entry into the realm of humans.  Seriously, someone was actually talking to […]

A limerick for the birth of a prince (not from Limerick)

There once was a prince with no nameWhose birth left our lives much the sameBut the Duchess and Dukeshould get used to baby puke‘Coz even little lords spit up the same! Congratulations to the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and, indeed, everyone welcoming a bouncy bundle of baby into the world recently. May all you […]

Stupid Hot Days, Summer Colds, and Wax People

Well, we all knew it had to happen eventually. We’d gotten to the middle of July and yet for the most part, this summer had been remarkable well-mannered.  Sure, it’s been warm, but not, like, unpleasantly, irrationally, unwholesomely, comes-into-your-home-and-eats-your-last-Thin-Mint-without-asking-you rudely, objectionably hot.  [For the record, I’m not allowed to use adverbs in my novels anymore, […]

The Great American Pastime

“Just put the bat on the ball. Watch it all the way to the bat.” It was the last regular season game of the Puddinpop’s ten-week season. A season spent huddled with other parents in collapsible chairs around a dusty, sun-baked diamond, a soggy, rain-soaked diamond, a diamond filled with promise and disappointment. “Right. I […]

A movie in 100 words or less: #Sharknado

Okay, so this is, admittedly, a little different that the usual approach for a A movie in a 100 words or less post, considering that by the time this guy goes up, the movie in question won’t have debuted yet.  But, still, I couldn’t help myself.  Because, see, at 9 o’clock PM Eastern tonight, the […]

Let’s talk about, um…something. What was I saying? Oh, yeah, distractions!

As you can probably tell by the way that I often start posts with a 100+ word barely-in-the-same-area-code-as-actual-post-topic tangential ramble, I occasionally suffer from an inability to get the point.  Which is to say, my blog posts are never likely to be used in a middle school English composition class, because I’m pretty sure you’re […]

Bookending the holiday weekend (with pictures!)

So, how’d my Independence Day weekend go? I certainly have no right to complain.  I mean, sure, it rained cats and dogs for the greater majority of it, but somehow I still managed to eat my weight in grilled foods and see enough snap, crackle, and colorful booming exploding things to last, well, another year.

An Independence Day primer

Before you get your suspenders all twisted up in an uncomfortable, constricting knot (and that goes for both the over-the-shoulder variety as well as the around-the-calves-to-hold-up-my-Mad-Men-esque-black-socks), there will be no history lessons associated with this post. Which is not to say it won’t become some kind of lesson for the children of tomorrow, a cautionary […]